The Craziness That is Me...Megan

Frequently moving perfectionist often driven to Crazyville by moving, motherhood, and...myself. Lover of music, homemade things, and Oklahoma.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Letter to Ree

Dear Ree,

Since I found your blog a little over a year ago I have read many times that you were a city girl thrust into the country after falling in love with Marlboro Man.

But...I must say that I never fully understood how much of a city girl you were.

I knew you were from Oklahoma...which is my home state as well and it made me think...she's from Oklahoma, how much of a city girl could she really be.

However...after reading Black Heels to Tractor Wheels I see now that you were very much a city girl living in unknown territory of ranch life in the middle of the Oklahoma prairie. But it didn't really sink in until Chapter 29, when you write about how you wondered if your child would know the fun of sledding down a hill. And how you had lived on the ranch for 5 months and you were just beginning to wrap your mind around the way daily life unfolded...wake up early, work, eat, relax, and go to bed.

And for some reason...after reading that...I fully understood what was going on in your mind. I fully realized how everything about this new place was unknown to you and how "out of place" you must have felt at times.

For me...moving to a ranch in the middle of the Oklahoma prairie would be like putting on an old, familiar, and very comfortable pair of boots. But for you...it was quite the opposite.

And then...just as all of this is sinking in...I realized something about myself. I realized that I am very much where you were when you moved to the ranch. I feel extremely "out of place" and very much out of my comfort zone.

The love I have for my Farmer Boy has taken me from Oklahoma and moved me to three different states I never thought I would have lived in. The first two weren't that difficult but this third one...well; let’s just say there might as well be a mountain lion sitting on top of my car ready to devour me. It is very different from Oklahoma in so many ways. Much like the ranch was for you.

I can easily see how one could grow accustomed to life on a ranch and learn to love it considering that way of life is more in my blood that this city living ever could be. I can not see how I will learn to love living here but I am inspired by you...

To at least try harder to grow accustomed to it instead of continuing to resist it.

To try harder to focus on the love I have for my Farmer Boy rather than the stress, traffic, and busy-ness of where we currently live.

To focus on the fact that this isn't going to be forever and that no matter how much I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel...there really is. It will be over one day and we'll be back somewhere closer to where we feel we belong.

To dig down deep and find that pioneer woman spirit that I think most Oklahoma women have and get through this difficult time with grace and poise.

I hope that one day you will know...

How much your photography makes me homesick, proud, and happy all at the same time.

How your writing has made me laugh during some of my darkest hours.

How your story has given me the determination to keep searching for myself and my place in the world while also being a wife and mother.

Thanks for all that!

Love,
Megan

3 comments:

  1. Oh Megan - what a beautiful post. I hope you grow to love it over here in the crazed East as much as Ree loves her ranch.

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  2. Great post Megan...that's what blogging is really all about huh? Learning from each other and I bet Ree would be so happy to hear that her struggles are inspiring you through yours. We Okie girls have to stick together! Hang in there! :)

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  3. Megan...Thanks so much. I hope I do too...even if I could just start enjoying it a little more I would be happy. I'm hoping with warmer weather coming we'll be able to come into DC more and at least enjoy all there is to do there.

    Rose...Thank you! It is what blogging is about. Finding laughter through an otherwise yucky day or learning lessons through others. And yes...we do need to stick together! Thanks for the encouragement!

    Love y'all!

    :-)

    Megan

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