The Craziness That is Me...Megan

Frequently moving perfectionist often driven to Crazyville by moving, motherhood, and...myself. Lover of music, homemade things, and Oklahoma.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Trying to Right a Wrong

I grew up with a very special person in my life.  He was a little bit different than your average little boy.  He preferred wearing my clothes as opposed to his and sometimes put a dish towel on this head to pretend he had long hair.  And when we were little I didn't know the difference...we were buddies.

But as we both got older his differences sometimes confused and even scared me a little.  I grew up being taught that some kinds of differences were "bad" and even "sinful". So when he wanted to use perfumed lotions and sample some of his mom's make-up...I freaked.  I didn't know what else to do.

I don't know if in the last 5-10 years I've grown up...or maybe the love that Farm Boy and a few of my close friends have given me has changed my life more than I realize.  Or maybe I have a better understand of what God is all about...but I'm not so freaked out by differences anymore.  I'm not so freaked out about what is "right" or "wrong".  All that I know and feel is that God is love...pure, unconditional love.  And it doesn't matter to me how you choose to live your life...what matters is that I let God's love shine through me.  It is not up to me to be judge and jury of anything or anyone.  I just have to do my best to live and love the best way that I feel I should.

It isn't always easy for me.  Sometimes I still have moments where I struggle.  But I'm a work in progress...like every other human I suppose. 

And as for my special person...I don't get to see him or talk to him near enough but I love him and miss him and hope that one day the friendship that we had growing up can be what it was back then, again.  Sometimes I fear that my "freak outs" hurt him more deeply than can be fully repaired.  I pray that someday he can trust me and be able to talk to me the way he used to when we were kids.  I don't know that it will ever happen and if it doesn't...I pray he has someone that has that place in his life.

I know that my childhood wouldn't have been the same without him and I love him for that...just the way he is!

P.S.  This wasn't meant to be a sermon or anything like that.  Just some thoughts and feelings I needed to get off my chest.  I woke up thinking of him this morning and this just came spilling out. 

6 comments:

  1. Sounds like you're on the right track Megan.

    1 Samueal 16:7 "God does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance. God looks at the heart."

    I have to murmur that one to myself whenever I come across someone whose differences make me uncomfortable. It helps!

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  2. Good for you!!! I say spread the love, it's tough sometimes, but it really is the best thing to do! :)

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  3. Thanks Everyone!

    Mindee...I can alwasy use a good reminder!

    Megan...I hope maybe it can help someone.

    Heather...I have found loving is so much more freeing than any other emotion! Apparently I'm a slow learner. lol... :-)

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  4. I'm not a very religious person, but this post is absolutely beautiful. Great honesty. I have a childhood friend that is in a completely different situation than your friend, but ultimately I feel the same way that you do regarding their life/future.

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