I grew up with a very special person in my life. He was a little bit different than your average little boy. He preferred wearing my clothes as opposed to his and sometimes put a dish towel on this head to pretend he had long hair. And when we were little I didn't know the difference...we were buddies.
But as we both got older his differences sometimes confused and even scared me a little. I grew up being taught that some kinds of differences were "bad" and even "sinful". So when he wanted to use perfumed lotions and sample some of his mom's make-up...I freaked. I didn't know what else to do.
I don't know if in the last 5-10 years I've grown up...or maybe the love that Farm Boy and a few of my close friends have given me has changed my life more than I realize. Or maybe I have a better understand of what God is all about...but I'm not so freaked out by differences anymore. I'm not so freaked out about what is "right" or "wrong". All that I know and feel is that God is love...pure, unconditional love. And it doesn't matter to me how you choose to live your life...what matters is that I let God's love shine through me. It is not up to me to be judge and jury of anything or anyone. I just have to do my best to live and love the best way that I feel I should.
It isn't always easy for me. Sometimes I still have moments where I struggle. But I'm a work in progress...like every other human I suppose.
And as for my special person...I don't get to see him or talk to him near enough but I love him and miss him and hope that one day the friendship that we had growing up can be what it was back then, again. Sometimes I fear that my "freak outs" hurt him more deeply than can be fully repaired. I pray that someday he can trust me and be able to talk to me the way he used to when we were kids. I don't know that it will ever happen and if it doesn't...I pray he has someone that has that place in his life.
I know that my childhood wouldn't have been the same without him and I love him for that...just the way he is!
P.S. This wasn't meant to be a sermon or anything like that. Just some thoughts and feelings I needed to get off my chest. I woke up thinking of him this morning and this just came spilling out.
- Back to the Prairie
- I Take It Back...Mostly
- A Collection of Thoughts
- My Most Recent Trip To Crazyville
- Lots of Prayers and One Murmur-Be-Gone Dance
- A Bad Case of the Drama
- The Valley of the Shadow of Teething
- So That You Can Fully Understand Me
- I'm Tired of Making Decisions
- How It Came To Be...My Farmer Boy and Me - Part 2
- Trying to Right a Wrong
- The Trouble With Family Pictures
- Must Have Baby Stuff - Part 1 - The Magical Seahor...
- It's a Love/Hate Relationship
- I'll Have an Order of "Get Me The Heck Outta Here"...
- ▼ July (16)