The Craziness That is Me...Megan

Frequently moving perfectionist often driven to Crazyville by moving, motherhood, and...myself. Lover of music, homemade things, and Oklahoma.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I'll Have an Order of "Get Me The Heck Outta Here" With a Side of "Fun" Please!

I'm not really sure where to begin with the summary of the past week and a half at my house.

So we all know that last Tuesday Q-Tip was diagnosed with a heart murmur right?  Right.

Well...apparently my mental and emotional health is being tested this week in more ways than one.  So much so that finding words to explain where I'm at or how I feel have darn near escaped my very being.

Yesterday morning I went in to wake Q-Tip up for breakfast.  I noticed almost right away that she wasn't her happy self and was much more reserved than normal but didn't really think much of it.  I also noticed that she was shaking...really just shivering I guess.  Her arms and legs were very cold. 

We went downstairs and I started her breakfast and noticed that she didn't ask for O's (cheerios) or her milk as she normally does but sat there in her high chair and waited.  After I gave her a few O's and her milk she ate them and drank her milk while I fixed her "cereal" (yogurt and applesauce). She continued to shiver the whole time she ate and never really snapped out of her quietness.  She was so noticeably different that I called Farm Boy and told him.  I'm not sure what I thought he could do but I just felt like I needed to tell him.  We both blamed it on teething and I went about fixing my breakfast. 

After I fixed my breakfast and sat down to eat I noticed that my baby girl's lips were completely purplish/blue.  Dark purplish/blue.  I immediately looked at her finger nails.  They also had purple spots under them.  I checked her breathing which was completely normal.  She was still shivering and she had goosebumps on her legs that wouldn't go away.  She didn't have a fever.  I called the doctor.

The doctor wasn't in but a nurse practitioner was on her way there and was supposed to be arriving in the next few minutes.  When she called back she felt that with her symptoms she needed to be checked out as soon as possible and suggested I call the paramedics.  In other words...911.  So I did.  And then I called Farm Boy and told him that paramedics were on the way and he needed to start heading towards home.

The paramedics came and checked her vitals and everything was normal.  Everything.  Her pulse oxygen level...which is what I was worried about...was 97%...normal.  However her lips were still blue.  The blueness would move up to her nose and down her chin at times and then go back to normal but her lips stayed blue.  The paramedics saw it and were concerned.  Concerned enough they felt we needed to have her checked out at the ER.  So we headed to the ER in the back of an ambulance. 

Just so ya know...calling 911 and going to the ER via ambulance were no where in the plan of our day.

Farm Boy met us at the hospital just in time for the doctor to tell us that nothing added up.  It seems Q-Tip didn't have enough of any particular symptom to narrow in on a diagnosis.  Believe me...I consider our little family to be truly blessed by not finding anything wrong. leaves a tiny bit of an unsettled feeling when you're not sure what caused it nor how to prevent it from EVER HAPPENING AGAIN! 

We left the hospital and she was still quiet.  It wasn't until after lunch that she started to perk up a little.  After lunch we went home and took naps.  When she woke up from her nap she was pretty much 100%.  I went to bed last night dreading the morning and what it could bring.  But much to my delight it brought Q-Tip at 110% and going strong.  Which is where she has been all day.  Thank the good Lord! 

I talked with my friend Pam last night and Q-Tip's doctor today and they both seem to think that it was possibly a blood flow issue and that maybe her blood just wasn't circulating like it was supposed to be.  If she does it again I'm supposed to take a picture of her lips and get her moving a little and see if it goes away on its own. 

If not...we'll be calling our buddies to come pick us up in their shiny ride and head back to the ER where Q-Tip will be turned inside out so mommy can keep what shred of sanity she has left.

So...that all being I can tell you about today.


The following portion of this post pertains to my breasts. 
If you don't want to hear about my breasts I
suggest you scroll down to the bottom of this post,
leave a comment and be on your merry way. 
Thank you and have a blessed day.

I've been keeping my eye...or hand I guess you would say...on a particular area of one of my breasts for the last few weeks.  I'm aware that at times your breast tissue can feel a little differently than others so I didn't want to get too concerned with a little bump that I found.  I tend to be a little on the bumpy side anyway but this one felt a little bigger and a little harder than normal. 

I decided that I needed to see a doctor and let them feel me up and make the decision on whether it was normal or not.  Today was the day.  My appointment was at 3:15. 

And the result of my appointment today...I have a mammogram scheduled for 9 AM tomorrow. 

Just so you know...this was the first isn't an emergency or anything like that.  The doctor doesn't feel overly concerned but wants to rule anything negative out.  

Which seems to be the story of our lives lately....

"I'm sure it's nothing but let's go ahead and see a specialist to make sure."

I'm tired...emotionally and mentally.  

I'm feeling sort of trapped for some reason...can't really explain that one. 

And I really just want us to get the hell out of here.  For awhile.  A good long while.

So...say a prayer for my mental health if you have a's what I'm most worried about right now.

Thank you!


  1. Yikes!! What a rough couple of days... I hope things start looking up soon for you. Good luck tomorrow!

  2. OK, honey. This is a tough time. A very tough time. I've had 3 children, and all had rough starts. Born early, NICU, 911 calls, ambu rides...all the fun stuff you know of.

    What can I tell you? Nothing. Except realize that you may need more help. LIke me, I waited too long and then I snapped. Couldn't eat or sleep from all the emotional stress. It felt like PSD.

    I finally went to see a therapist, and got put on some anxiety meds. I had to. I was losing weight, and wasn't safe driving b/c of not sleeping.

    I'm here, if you want to email. I know what it's like. I wouldn't wish these days on anyone. I would just lay awake and watch my kids while they were on the apnea case they stopped breathing. What does the cardiologist's office say about the blue lip episode???

    My email is and I've had you on my mind heavily...