Today has been a busy day.
Carter's is having a 70% off sale and y'all...I just had to go. I like to shop the end of season sales for Q-Tip's clothes for the next year. I missed out this past winter on getting next winter's stuff. And I'm gonna be cussing when it rolls around...mark my words.
Anyway...so I got her some really cute...CHEAP...stuff and I was happy. We got home just in time for a good nap before our MOPS end of the year picnic this evening.
While she napped I fiddled on the computer awhile and then I got myself all ready to go. Laid out our chairs...got a fruit plate ready...etc. I heard her waking up and she almost immediately started whining. Or at least I thought she had just woke up.
So I go into her room and I'm immediately greeted with that all too familiar after nap smell of a poopy diaper.
Now in a mother's mind...at least in mine...when you smell a poopy diaper you think...well, she pooped, everything is working correctly.
So I pick her up, lay her on the changing table, flip on her lamp, look down....
I stand there for a second...and contemplate hyper-ventilating....and then I contemplate putting her clothes on and pretending that I had not been presented with this situation.
Then I seriously contemplate not looking at the bed. Because...
POOPY SMELL = POOP
NO DIAPER = POOP IS NOT CONTAINED
But with out another thought I made a tragic mistake and turned around.
DEAR GOD...THERE WAS POOP IN MY BABY'S BED!!!!
OHHH THE HORROR!!!
And then I ever so calmly...FREAKED OUT!
It was a crisis of epic proportions I tell you!
I don't have time for this! We need to be leaving now.
Do I put her in the tub? Do I give her a sponge bath? Dear Lord in heaven is it on her hands? Is it in her hair? Dare I say...is it on her face or mouth? I would die...just die. What do I do? What the hell do I do? Do I change her sheets now? Oh my heavens is it on her favorite blanket?
THE HORROR...THE FREAKING HORROR!!
I cleaned it up the best I could at the moment. There wasn't really any evidence of it on her body anywhere so I just washed her down as quickly as possible. I changed her clothes and headed out the door for the picnic. Stressed out and ready for an adult beverage. Yet knowing there would be none at the picnic.
I successsfully get out the door without a blanket...or our chairs...or the fruit plate.
I forgot everything but Q-Tip and the diaper bag. Which is a plus I guess.
Oh yes and we arrived at the picnic a fashionably...40 minutes late.
And then I proceeded to chase her around for the next hour and half or so.
We end up getting home just in time to be 20 minutes late for bedtime. I still had to change her sheets and blankets. Needless to say she didn't get in bed until 9 or so...making bath time especially pleasant.
So my dear friends...this all leaves me exhausted, semi-stressed out, and ready to go to bed. And I know I'm going to suffer extreme guilt and frustration but there ain't no way in H-E-double hockey sticks I'm going to do the Shred tonight.
Call me a loser...call me a wimp... I. DON'T. CARE.
P.S. Important lesson learned today...CHECK.
Q-Tip will NEVER...I repeat NEVER go to bed for ANY amount of time without pants on. And I'm seriously considering onesies from here on out.
I don't do poop outside of diapers.
- My Favorite Things - My James Avery Jewelry
- P-Dub and Her Giveaways
- Five Years Ago On This Very Day
- A Ton of Bricks
- Bad Angel
- In The Name of All That Is Random....
- There's No Turning Back Now
- It is ENTIRELY Not My Fault!
- My Friend...The Farmer's Wife
- I Blame The Orange Juice
- Q-Tip The Marine Biologist
- Another "Milestone" Reached Today...And One I Wish...
- I'm Not Convinced We Are Beach People
- Don't Tell Me I Can't Have It!
- First Things First
- There's No Place Like Home
- ▼ June (16)