The Craziness That is Me...Megan

Frequently moving perfectionist often driven to Crazyville by moving, motherhood, and...myself. Lover of music, homemade things, and Oklahoma.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Another "Milestone" Reached Today...And One I Wish We Hadn't

Today has been a busy day. 

Carter's is having a 70% off sale and y'all...I just had to go.  I like to shop the end of season sales for Q-Tip's clothes for the next year.  I missed out this past winter on getting next winter's stuff.  And I'm gonna be cussing when it rolls around...mark my words.

Anyway...so I got her some really cute...CHEAP...stuff and I was happy.  We got home just in time for a good nap before our MOPS end of the year picnic this evening.

While she napped I fiddled on the computer awhile and then I got myself all ready to go.  Laid out our chairs...got a fruit plate ready...etc.  I heard her waking up and she almost immediately started whining.  Or at least I thought she had just woke up. 

So I go into her room and I'm immediately greeted with that all too familiar after nap smell of a poopy diaper. 

Now in a mother's mind...at least in mine...when you smell a poopy diaper you think...well, she pooped, everything is working correctly. 

So I pick her up, lay her on the changing table, flip on her lamp, look down....

NO DIAPER!!!!!!!!!


I stand there for a second...and contemplate hyper-ventilating....and then I contemplate putting her clothes on and pretending that I had not been presented with this situation.

Then I seriously contemplate not looking at the bed.  Because...

POOPY SMELL = POOP

NO DIAPER = POOP IS NOT CONTAINED

But with out another thought I made a tragic mistake and turned around.

DEAR GOD...THERE WAS POOP IN MY BABY'S BED!!!!

OHHH THE HORROR!!!

And then I ever so calmly...FREAKED OUT!

It was a crisis of epic proportions I tell you!

I don't have time for this!  We need to be leaving now. 

Do I put her in the tub?  Do I give her a sponge bath?  Dear Lord in heaven is it on her hands?  Is it in her hair?  Dare I say...is it on her face or mouth?  I would die...just die.  What do I do?  What the hell do I do?  Do I change her sheets now?  Oh my heavens is it on her favorite blanket? 

THE HORROR...THE FREAKING HORROR!!

I cleaned it up the best I could at the moment.  There wasn't really any evidence of it on her body anywhere so I just washed her down as quickly as possible.  I changed her clothes and headed out the door for the picnic.  Stressed out and ready for an adult beverage.  Yet knowing there would be none at the picnic.

I successsfully get out the door without a blanket...or our chairs...or the fruit plate.

I forgot everything but Q-Tip and the diaper bag.  Which is a plus I guess.

Oh yes and we arrived at the picnic a fashionably...40 minutes late.

And then I proceeded to chase her around for the next hour and half or so. 

We end up getting home just in time to be 20 minutes late for bedtime.  I still had to change her sheets and blankets.  Needless to say she didn't get in bed until 9 or so...making bath time especially pleasant. 

So my dear friends...this all leaves me exhausted, semi-stressed out, and ready to go to bed.  And I know I'm going to suffer extreme guilt and frustration but there ain't no way in H-E-double hockey sticks I'm going to do the Shred tonight.  

Call me a loser...call me a wimp...  I. DON'T. CARE.

Nighty Night

P.S.  Important lesson learned today...CHECK. 

Q-Tip will NEVER...I repeat NEVER go to bed for ANY amount of time without pants on.  And I'm seriously considering onesies from here on out.

I don't do poop outside of diapers.

5 comments:

  1. I won't bore you with the time that Liv had a "blow out" of epic proportions in her crib...but she also pooped in the bathtub one time...little floaters - it was a blast! Not! Hang in there mom - she'll be potty trained one day - LOL.

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  2. While we are on the poop possibilities.....today at the local splash park there was the cutest little girl wearing a yellow tu-tu bathing suit (from old navy, I know this cuz my daughter has the same in pink)she strolled from the splash park to the play equip., climbed up and sat on the platform for a moment........when she got up you could see a smash brown matter in the seat of her bathing suit. Had to laugh..........until I picked up my daughter and realized she had done the same, but thankfully she wasn't wearing her pink bathing suit, but her navy blue one and we've been eating a lot of cheese lately so it was a fairly contained, self-inclusive problem, so very easy to clean up in the public restroom........sorry, just had to share!!!!

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  3. Anna...I'm seriously starting to consider a mandatory potty training seminar for Miss Q-Tip. lol... :-)

    AnnieChaps...Again...I think I might have died! Funny story but believe me...one I will keep in mind the first time I put her in a bathing suit without a Huggies swimmer on underneath. I don't do poop outside of diapers!! :-)

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  4. Oh poop outside of diapers! Another "joy" I will soon be looking forward to experiencing, NOT!

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  5. Ahhh yes. Well never take it for granted that your child has never acted interested in taking her/his diaper off. Apparently they can decide these things at the drop of a hat. :-)

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