The Craziness That is Me...Megan

Frequently moving perfectionist often driven to Crazyville by moving, motherhood, and...myself. Lover of music, homemade things, and Oklahoma.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Words

Okay so y'all know that I don't live near my friends and family right?  Right.

So when something bad happens to one of my friends or family...I'm not there to hug them or do something nice for them. 

I'm over 1,000 miles away. 

All I really have are words.

And sometimes words just aren't enough.

Sure, I could send a card...but what do you put in a card?  WORDS.

I can't hug them or make them dinner.  And I can't pick up their child for the day.  I can't go over and clean their house to relieve some stress.  Or help take care of them while their sick.

So what the heck do I do when...

a dear friend finds out they are having a miscarriage? 

a friend loses their only child to cancer?

a friend goes through infertility issues when all they want in life is to be a mommy?

a friend almost dies on the operating table and has a tough road to recovery?

a friend battles one illness and surgery after the other and has no one close to help?

There have been countless situations...especially in the last year.

To me...words just aren't enough for these things.  And every thing I can think of to say...sounds so cliche and typical. 

"I'm praying for you."

"God will get you through it"...He will but sometimes I think that just isn't the best thing to say at certain times.

"I love you."

"I understand."

"I can't understand but I am praying for you."

"I'm thinking about you."

None of them are enough.

None of them are sufficient. 

Nothing that is said can say what a hug says.

Nothing that is said can replace the feeling of knowing someone cares by cooking them dinner to relieve some stress.  Or watching their child so they can rest and recover.  Or cleaning their house because they are to sick. 

I'm just left with words.

So I find that most of the time...I say nothing.  I think about them a lot.  And I pray for them a lot.  And I listen to them when we talk on the phone.  

But I feel as though I'm being a terrible friend because I can't do anything for them.

Or I feel like a terrible friend because I know there is nothing I can say that is sufficient so I say nothing.  I don't call, I don't send a card...cause it just feels like it's not enough.  And it won't help them in the slightest.  AND...I worry that whatever I do say in a card is just going to make them feel worse.  SO...I don't send one.  It makes me feel worse though.  UGH.

All I have are WORDS...and I just don't feel like that is enough.

5 comments:

  1. You just expressed yourself perfectly with WORDS that your friends can understand. Many times I have not sent cards because I did not know what to write along with the "verse." When I was going thru chemo I found out how meaningful a card with nothing but a signed name was! We are our own worst critics!

    GillLink

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  2. Thanks for letting me know that.

    I struggle thinking the card or anything I say will just remind them of the situation. BUT, then I think the card will at least let them know I am thinking of them. That they or their situation aren't forgotten.

    Thanks again for the comment...I really appreciate it.

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  3. I agree with GillLink. Sometimes a card just lets people know you care. Sometimes we get thrown into situations and there are no words that will "fix" it. Just a simple thinking about you can go a long way. You are an amazing friend and yet again you my friend are too hard on yourself. Hang in there girl.

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  4. Words are perfect when they are true, honest, geniune and thought out... It's very apparent when you "miss megan marshall formerly of mayberry and now of maryland" write something it's heartfelt and can give people the warm fuzzies. How many times have I droned on and on and on and on about my woes and you are always a great listener and ALWAYS have great words of encouragement and/or help? Too many to count...that's how many....

    LYMI

    pam-tastic

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